Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
