I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
