idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
