I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
