I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
