You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
how drunk are you?
Several
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
