brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
