I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
