I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
