The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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