in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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