can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
