We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
