sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
