you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
