i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
