i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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