She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
