I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
