I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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