i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
