I wish I only lived at night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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