i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
