I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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