Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Drunk is not a location!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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