can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
