I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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