the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
