I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
