Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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