I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
