You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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