Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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