Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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