It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
