I puked a lego.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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