Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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