i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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