You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
