Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
