his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
even my farts smell like vagina
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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