Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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