he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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