never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
