I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
