and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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