he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
