hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
