if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
