i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
